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ComputerNew "...I can't do this. Kings of Parkour/Transcript, can you help me out?" - Computer, "Kiloto the Minoto" Chapter 1
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To do: Complete the whole transcript and also turn the non-dia box texts into dia box texts.

Biscuit is sitting on a bench. Wallet walks up to her.
Wallet:
Hey Biscuit! I have a joke.
Biscuit:
I don't care about your jokes, they aren't even funny.
Wallet:
No, this is totally funny and not a scam.
Biscuit:
Ugh... What's the joke?
Wallet:
Why is your face so fat?
Biscuit:
No! Not this joke again!
Wallet:
Because you're retarded?
Wallet chuckles and gives a thumbs up before Biscut punches him.
Biscuit:
That wasn’t even a good joke, you should go jump off a bridge and eaten by a lion.
Biscuit walks away.
Biscuit:
Biscuit: Finally, I get some peace and quiet!
Mint slides up to Biscuit.
Mint:
Hi Biscuit, HOW YOU DOING!?
Biscuit screams.
Cut to Carpet and Magazine. Magazine is sitting on the ground, holding her phone.
Carpet:
Hey, bae. What's up?
Magazine:
I am not your "baby", Carpet. I never liked you and never will like you.
Carpet:
Are you saying I'm not hot enough to be your girlfriend?
As Carpet says "be your girlfriend," Steve (of The Adventures of Steve fame) appears holding up a sign saying "Does that mean Carpet is a girl? :O"
Audio error: Since Carpet is a male, he should have said "boyfriend" instead of "girlfriend."
Magazine:
No!! You're UGLY!
Carpet:
Ugh.. whatever.
Carpet walks away.
Magazine:
Now I can make fake Instagram cracker accounts to like my own photos!
Cut to Trowel and Beer on a cliff.
Trowel:
Hey, Beer! Wanna pull a prank on Arch?
Beer:
I hate Arch anyways. So what will we do?
Beep Boop appears behind Trowel and Beer.
Beep Boop:
You do realize pranking can cause serious injuries.
Trowel and Beer:
Shut up, Beep Boop!
Beep Boop:
Aw-
Beer:
Anyways, how exactly are we gonna prank Arch again?
Trowel:
Well... we will show him this picture of a spooky Minion. Tie a rope to two polls on the cliff, and, he will fall off and face plant in the water!
Beer:
I can tell how this is gonna be hilarious! Let's go!
Beep Boop:
Jumping off a cliff at a high distance can cause pain and injury. Death is also possible.
Beer:
Oh my god, Beep Boop! You always ruin everything!
Beer is setting up the rope as Trowel watches him.
Beer:
Okay, the rope is set! Now what should we do?
Trowel:
We will wait for Arch to come up here. Then, we will show him this spooky minion. He will be so spooked out that he will fall!
Beer:
Sounds like a plan, I'll go and get Arch. HEY ARCH!
Trowel's ears briefly spurt with blood. Arch comes up.
Arch:
Yeah?
Beer:
Look that way.
Beer:
Okay!
Beer puts the picture of the Minion over his face.
Beer:
Now turn around.
Arch turns to see Beer.
Beer:
Hello, I am a spooky minion; and I am here to spook you.
Arch:
Ah! Spooky minion!
Arch tries to run away, but he trips on the rope. He falls down screaming.
A splash sound is heard from offscreen as Trowel and Beer look over the ledge. They then laugh.
Arch comes out of the water.
Arch:
Ugh! My life just got worse than worse! Everyone keeps making fun of me for really retarted reasons!...Sigh...Someday, I'll teach them a lesson on who's boss! And who should be... (garbling) You know what? I don't need them! I'm an independent woman who needs no man! It's a free country!
Cut to a farther-out view of the screen, where Plug is visible.
Plug:
That was stupid.
Arch glares at Plug, who walks away.
Plug:
Since I am bored with nothing to do, I'm going to kick Flash Drive in the water, Because...YOLO.
Flash Drive stands near the river with GameCube Controller standing in the background. Plug runs up and kicks Flash Drive into the water.
Flash Drive:
Oh no...
Flash Drive short circuits and explodes.
Flash Drive is recovered
Flash Drive:
What the heck, Plug?!
Plug:
I was bored.
Flash Drive:
You kicked me in the water and I'm electronic-
Mint appears, making an eagle's call.
Flash Drive:
No, Mint! Get away me you stalker!
Mint:
Stinky socks! I have a unibrow!
Mint's unibrow suddenly gains a mouth.
Unibrow:
HELLO-
Flash Drive:
No! I don't even wear socks!
Plug:
Can't you two just get along?
Flash Drive and Mint:
Shut up, Plug! Nobody likes you!
Short silence. Plug suddenly screams.
Cut to Whipped Cream and Paint, who are sitting down.
Paint:
So Whipped Cream, what's your favorite tape?
Whipped Cream:
The Super Window's Master Fun Time Jams album!
Paint:
Sounds pretty sick, mate.
Whipped Cream:
Yup.
Paint:
I have this mixtape on my phone. Wanna listen to it?
Whipped Cream:
No.
Paint:
Why not?
Whipped Cream:
One, those memes are so dank. It's too powerful! And two, that song is copyrighted, and this show will get sued!
Paint:
Well, I'm going to play it anyway.
Whipped Cream:
No! Not in front of the camera!
A technical difficulties screen appears for a second.
Skittle is sitting on the ground holding a packet of original-flavored Skittles. Stapler comes up to her.
Stapler:
Hey, what's up?
Skittle:
I'm eating Skittles!
Skittle:
Wait, what?
Skittle eats the entire packet of Skittles.
Skittle:
They're delicious!
Stapler:
Isn't that cannibalism? because canni-boys are scrubs.
As she says the line, she pulls out her pair of pixelated sunglasses and puts them on.
The camera suddenly shakes on Stapler's face, while crosshairs cover the screen and a bag of Doritos and a sniper gun shake about as well.
Skittle:
Um, that wasn't funny!
The screen is now black and white, with Stapler making the "Forever Alone" face.
Skittle:
Okay, just stop.
Cut to Fart, who is near a bench. Road Sign comes up to him.
Road Sign:
Hey Fart, wanna play football?
Fart:
Sure! I've always wanted to play fartball!
Fart jumps and duplicates himself.
First Fart clone:
Whoa, where am I?
Fart:
Hey! Who are you?
First Fart clone:
I'm Fart! Who are you?
Fart:
I'm Fart, and my favorite color is bleach! BLEEE!
Road Sign:
What's going on here?
Fart suddenly clones himself two more times, and they start talking to each other.
Road Sign screams.
Cut to Cactus on a cliff.
Cactus:
I'm a jock.
Cut to a full view: Cactus standing near the edge of the cliff, with Recycling Bin and Coffee Cup behind him.
Recycling Bin:
No you're not.
Coffee Cup:
Yeah, you look pretty weak, Cactus.
Cactus:
Uh... I am so a jock.
Recycling Bin:
Prove it!
Coffee Cup:
Show your muscles, then!
Cactus:
I can throw you off this cliff right there.
Recycling Bin holds a sheet of paper.
Recycling Bin:
You're weaker than this sheet of paper.
Recycling Bin lets go of his paper.
Coffee Cup:
Uh...Recycling Bin? I think that's a little too far...
Cactus:
You take that back!
Recycling Bin:
Can't. It's a promatic insult.
Cactus grabs Recycling Bin.
Recycling Bin:
Hey! Put me down!
Cactus:
No.
Recycling Bin:
Okay! You're a jock!
Cactus:
I'm still throwing you.
Recycling Bin:
No no no! No!
Cactus throws Recycling Bin off the cliff. Recycling Bin screams as he falls.
Coffee Cup:
CACTUS!
Cactus:
Well, he deserves it anyways. And I'm sure he'll be fine.
Computer is working on Printer. Recycling Bin's scream can be heard.
Recycling Bin hits the ground, next to Computer. Computer accidentally spills some oil on Printer.
Recycling Bin:
Ow!
Computer:
Aw come on! Now I accidentally spilled oil on my project!
Recycling Bin:
Sorry, Computer. It was an accident.
Computer:
That's fine. I know Cactus threw you off the cliff again, just like he always does. I can just clean the oil off Printer. And I wanna start a competition show, I am selling my cruise ship I made as a prize, and I'm building a host to do the show.
Recycling Bin:
Why can't you host?
Computer:
Because I'm too lazy, duh!
Recycling Bin:
LOL.
Computer:
There, done!
Recycling Bin:
Um...it's not doing anything.
Computer:
It happened again, it always happens!
Printer suddenly starts glowing. After two seconds, the screen flashes, and he turns on.
Printer:
Hello, I am Printer. A gizmo-eyed object created me to make a competition show. I also have emotion, tweaks, and other chips that allow me to react, reply, and even taunt at!
Computer slaps Printer, and the latter suddenly malfunctions and eventually turns off.
Recycling Bin:
You broke it?
Printer malfunctions again, and turns on. He angrily slaps Computer.
Printer:
Computer. I see you were trying to kill me by punching my microchips, and disabling my emotions.
Computer:
I was just testing!
Printer:
I am not to be used for tests. Anyway, I am wondering if you, Recycling Bin, would like to join my show, and win this magnificent cruis-
Printer then shows a picture of him, another girl, and an x in between.
Printer:
Uuuuuuhhhm.....ehEHEHh- Wrong... gift. Er..um..
Printer:
Ok, this is the magnificent cruise ship!
Printer shows a picture of the cruise ship. Although on the top right, it shows the same thing he shown before.
Printer:
Would you like to join my competition in order to win this?
Recycling Bin:
Um, sure?
Printer:
Great! Now where do we find the others?
Recycling Bin:
Follow me; I know where you can find 20 contestants compete for your cruise.
Printer:
Hey, you...strange..unidentified...square brown object with green hair on you, and upside down..grey U-ripoff.
Arch:
I am not a U-ripoff!
Wallet:
You kinda are.
Printer:
Anyways, whatever your names are, I have a question to ask you guys.
Wallet:
What?
Printer:
Well, I have this cruise ship which I.. don't really want anymore. And I'm giving it out to someone. want it?
Arch:
YEEEAAAH!!-
Printer:
Well, too bad!
Arch:
Didn't you just offer it to us?
Printer:
Well, here's the thing. My creator, Computer, wanted me to make an object show. Which is.. pretty obvious on what it is. But I'm thinking that if you guys would like to join the show,-
Cactus:
What's going on here?
Printer:
I'm starting another object show!
Cactus:
We have enough object shows in this community. There are like, 200 other object shows, and you're making another one.
Printer:
But this is gonna be good, you know why?
Cactus:
Why?
Printer:
The prize is a cruise ship!
Cactus:
Wow! I can do whatever I want! I can get unlimited ice cream, or I could eat at the buffet, or I could go to the pool!
Printer:
Exactly!
Printer:
Well, this is fantastic! A ton of contestants are begging to win this cruise, so let's get started. 20 contestants, 1 cruise ship. Get your popcorn, nachos, and peanuts, except for you viewers who are allergic to peanuts... but whatever. This is Object Terror!
The first opening plays.
Trowel:
Okay, so, how does this show work?
Printer:
Simple. Each challenge until the finale, you guys will be in two teams, with 10 contestants each. You will compete in a challenge. One team wins, and one team loses. The losing team will face the elimination ceremony. And the contestant who is most hated is eliminated. We will continue this process until we have one lucky winner!
Printer:
Ok, now for your first challenge. The first challenge is diaginal parkour'!
Trowel:
How original!
Printer:
Okay, shut up Trowel!
Trowel:
Wait... how did you know my name?
Printer:
You look like a trowel.
Trowel:
Wow. That's... sorta 'prising.
Printer:
Anyways.. how this challenge works is that it's pretty much the balance beam challenge.
Carpet:
I'm too lazy to do that. I have to find a bae!
Printer:
Can you shut up?!
Printer:
Thank you. Anyways, it's also a racing challenge, too.
Flash Drive:
Races are too unorignial.
Printer:
Do you want the cruise or not?? If so, SHUT UP AND LET ME EXPLAIN!
Printer:
Finally, back to the explianation. You have to-
El Nudelo Spider comes up to Printer.
El Nudelo Spider:
Hi! I'm El Nudelo Spider!
Printer does a short scream.
Printer:
No spiders allowed in Object Terror!
El Nudelo Spider:
Why?
Printer:
I am allergic to spiders!
El Nudelo Spider:
Can I watch though?
Printer:
NO! Jump off this cliff or I will kill you!
El Nudelo Spider:
Fine! I will jump off this building and land on a car then.
El Nudelo Spider jumps off the cliff and falls.
El Nudelo Spider:
ENENENENENENENENENE
El Nudelo Spider hits La Nudela (from The Tale of El Nudelo) and lands next to her.
La Nudela:
Agh! How dare you land on me!
La Nudela kicks El Nudelo Spider away.
Printer:
Now that was funny.
Printer's phone rings. He answers it.
Printer:
Hello?
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